It's Okay, I'm Here
by SweeneyGirl310593
Summary: A short missing scene from the end of Amok Time. Jim provides Spock some much needed comfort. My first Spirk attempt. Please let me know if I got it right...


A.N. Oh boy, I'm actually doing this. Well here goes, my first attempt at Spirk. Not sure if this will be any good but shall do my best. My own feelings about this ship is that it would be very cute and it makes a hell of a lot of sense but I also like the platonic interpretation which I normally write. This is, however, firmly intended as slash. So here goes. Very Short Missing scene from a more somber end of Amok Time and inspired by a drawing of one of my devientart watchers. Sorry for dialogue inaccuracies as have not watched this for a while. Hope I don't muck this pairing up. Let me know what you think...

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Spock stood in the sickbay of the Enterprise, positively burning with shame and grief, acutely understanding the meaning of the human expression to be 'gutted' by emotion. His t'hy'la, his constant companion, his Jim was dead. That would have been devistating enough but the knowledge that he had removed such a lovely man from the universe, from his friends, from himself was almost unbareable. He had to bear it though. Logic would dictate that he was not responsible for the side effects of functions of his Vulcan biology but he didn't particularly care about that or anything else at this moment. He should have found a way to break through the haze of Pon Farr and control himself. Besides, the death of James Kirk was emphatically not a mere side effect. He turned to Leonard McCoy, thier closest mutual friend. They had many of those. That hurt too, the knowledge that not only had he taken his partner from himself, he had taken him from those they both cared about. The memory of attacking and killing the man he loved made him almost physically sick.

"For the crime of which I am guilty, there can be no defence. I intend to offer none. I place myself under arrest and leave Mr. Scott in tempory command until we reach a star base where I shall hand myself in to the authorities..."

Then a miraculous voice, full of its owner's beloved good humor spoke "don't you think you'd better ask me first?"

"Captain?" Spock almost gaped, aghast "JIM!" Of thier own volition, his muscles formed an expression of the emotion of joy he simply could not contain, in spite of his culture's training. A smile lit his dark featured face as he gripped the dear shoulders. He caught sight of McCoy and Nurse Chapel's expressions of mirth as it seemed to him and was chastened, even irritated by them. "Captain, I am pleased to see you...". He twitched with the conflicting feelings he was experiencing.

"Bones" Jim interrupted "can you and Christine give us a minute?" The two others tactfully vacated the room, leaving sick bay's reception area empty but for the two men standing in it's centre and the charged atmosphere between them.

"How...?" Spock's inability to compleate the sentence and his confusion was a testament to his turmoil.

"We needed to make it look like I had died. The other Vulcans would have accepted no less and you were...preoccupied. Bones injected me with a general anasethic instead of triox. He wanted to save both of us. Please don't be angry with him."

This possibility hadn't occurred to Spock "Jim...I...any anger I may feel is for myself. I thought I had taken your life." Jim watched his face set hard and then his slanted brow begin to convulse. Tears were building in his t'hy'las dark eyes and Spock looked at him as though he were an aspiration. "Jim, I nearly killed you. I...understand if you cannot forgive my barbaric actions and lack of control" Jim could see his distress and so partook in it. Jim crossed the space between them and enveloped his lover in comforting arms. Spock relaxed into the embrace slowly.

"I can't forgive you when you've done nothing wrong. You couldn't help it, any more than humanoids can be expected to help blinking." Jim said, pulling away to face him, gripping his shoulders, desperate to stop Spock's characteristic mental self flaggilation.

"Jim, Pon Farr cannot possibly be compared to blinking. There are also several humanoid..." Spock began, pedantic corrections being a usual defence against strong emotion for him.

"Spock stop! Look, when I fell in love with you, I fell in love with all of you. Human half Vulcan half, I don't care. You're just Spock and I'm just Jim. You're alive and so am I and, by God, I'm grateful for that."

"Jim, I was so...afraid ashyam. So afraid I had lost you, that we all lost you." Twin tears containing most of the emotions in the world fell down angular cheeks.

"So was I for a moment. Another day, another escape." Jim's softer features formed a gentle smile.

"Jim, please do not trivulise this. Not when your life means so much to me and many others." Jim hugged him again, tighter this time "hey, I'm sorry. It's okay. I'm here, I'm here. And that's not gonna change any time soon, promise, okay?" He felt a slow nod against his neck and a tender kiss being pressed into it. Both human and Vulcan. They stood for a long while, bathed in relief and affection.

"I will certainly ensure that you are able to keep that promise, ashyam" Spock finally responded "Yes, Jim, given that condition I believe I shall indeed be 'okay'"


End file.
